A Rank Odor is Afoot and Cards are Shuffling: The Never Ending Nerd War

by Max Contreras

The 2014 Grand Prix Richmond Magic: The Gathering, a trading card game at the forefront of the scene, was organized in an attempt to sate the ever growing demand of MTG’s new and incredibly popular format: Modern. It broke records, 4,300 people attended and played in it, an astronomical amount in comparison to the game’s other formats. Apart from the players within the tournament, the Grand Prix also attracted thousands more wanting to trade, visit stalls, and play casually. But it wouldn’t be this grand momentum within the community that would be the Grand Prix’s biggest story, nor the winning player and his grand achievement, nor the card decks that made it to the top 8, the biggest story was to be a scandal of gargantuan proportions: a guy posing with the exposed asscracks of unwary players wearing all too ill-fitting clothing. With this compilation of asscracks, a new animosity was brought to light, for some keyboard warriors, an internet nerd-war was to be fought in the name of common decency and hygiene. Defectors were to champion the cause of body positivity and “mind your own damn business,” In this war, there were no victors and there was no community resolution. At this point, the war has gone cold, but every now and again, the fire is bellowed by an outcrier and the flames rise once more, it’s a never ending and eternal nerd war. The problem itself is far more nuanced than just telling someone to wear some deodorant, Magic: The Gathering has a diverse community, there’s just about every type of person here that you can imagine, and both sides usually miss the mark in

their overzealous and blind geek fury. Odor is a bannable offense within sanctioned MTG

tournaments, but just how common of an issue is it; are we just dealing with stereotypes here?

The asscracks in question.

“Just put on some damn deodorant!”

MTG cards are really, really, expensive, some go for hundreds, a competitive 60 card deck can easily set a player back a cool $800. Anyone can understand the reservation a player feels when the opponent with greased up and grimy hands is required to cut your deck after a shuffle, doubly so when the opponent reeks of 3 week old man-funk. It’s a common stereotype that individuals entrenched within the MTG community and by extension, most geek communities are comprised of dorks who never shower, never bathe, and never put on deodorant, but does this stereotype hold any water? No, not really, there are a whole lot of people who play the game, a stereotype simply can’t apply to every member of the community. So where does the stereotype come from? If I had to make an informed guess, like most stereotypes, it comes from a place of misunderstanding and over-generalization. It only takes 1 person out of a thousand to create an everlasting stereotype, a person who smells of overly-ripe laundry will always supersede the other 50 in the room.

Game stores are usually pretty small, and usually have pretty poor ventilation, they’re like odor pressure vats. There’s a certain point where odor is inevitable; now, this isn’t to say that it’s pleasant or acceptable, but when you’re in a poorly-ventilated and tiny room with 8 guys competing as hard as they can, sweat is going to start perspiring. Like most competitive games, MTG can get pretty stressful. Stress, heat, and a room with no air conditioning nor windows is a pretty deadly combination and a ripe setting for an individual to start concluding over generalizations and start proclaiming them as fact.

Admittedly, the reported demographic for MTG is overwhelmingly male and in most cases, the odorous one is probably going to be a guy, but again they’re just stereotypes at the end of the day, most players don’t fall within it.

However, I would find myself hard pressed to defend the individual who actively goes out of their way to ignore social norms. We all face a social contract, there’s no point in outright ostracizing an individual because they’ve failed to follow social norms, it’s those who already conform to it that bear the burden of assimilating others into it. If an individual outright rejects the social contract, there’s not much that can be done.

Overgeneralization of the smelly gamer also fails to find nuance in the situation of the individual themselves; put simply, not everyone seeking their weekly retreat at a Friday Night MTG is living in the best of situations, and although it’s preferable that an individual be hygienic and clean, there are going to be instances where this isn’t possible for the individual. With that being said, this only excuses select individuals, but remember, all it takes is one individual to create a chain of abused stereotypes.

The MTG nerd war was primarily fueled by images like this and personal anecdotes.

So how do we fix this issue?

It’s likely that the presence of those who fail to follow hygienic norms arrive at Friday night Magic precisely because there is a game, conversation, and socialization to be had. Games ease social interaction; people find comfort in games, they’re a social lubricant. This idea of the smelly nerd is certainly not outlandish, if a smelly gamer is to operate within a social space, there’s a pretty good chance that space is going to coincide with their interests. With that being said, MTG is also a form of escapism; it’s a game in which the player maintains the illusion of conjuring armies and casting spells. It’s not a game conducive to being conscious of the self. Furthermore, if an individual is emitting body odor, they are not likely to detect it. Disregarding MTG entirely for a moment, what does one do if they’re forced into such a situation? Do they politely bring it to their attention? Silently leave? Lambast them? The last option certainly isn’t the correct one, so which one is it? If someone truly has body odor, then they’re likely to be an individual with low self esteem,

Truthfully, I don’t think there is a correct option; this dilemma is further complicated if the problem individual is a stranger, it’s generally incorrect to make assumptions about an individual and so does one stay paralyzed by the unknown? Within the context of a game store, if it’s a persistent issue, perhaps the best way to manage the issue is notifying the game store owner; if anyone is in a position of authority to the problem individual in their immediate surroundings, it is undoubtedly going to be the game store owner. Assuming the game store owner is a sane and compassionate individual, they’d certainly work to resolve the issue in a manner where all parties are accepting of the results. Even if the game store owner isn’t so compassionate, there’s no incentive for them to go out of their way and lose good business; we’re operating on the assumption of the stereotype, and the stereotypical nerd is usually a big spender.

That’s really all there is to it, just help the person out if you can, there are always going to be instances where the individual is resistant to change and in those cases, there’s really no other option but to give up. The nerd war had entirely failed to acknowledge the smelly individual as just that, an individual, instead they were to be framed as weaponed martyrs for both sides to fling at one another in an endless exchange of “well this happened to me,” and “Nuh uh, here’s how they really are,”

A quick wrap up

So yeah, that’s about it i’d say, as I’ve said before, the nerd war went nowhere, and will continue to go nowhere, its goals were certainly not progressing the MTG community; it was essentially a relentless exchange of furiously typing keyboard warriors. It offered no incentive to the problem individual to change their ways, in fact, it’s likely it further pushed them away from considering the social contract of hygiene in resentment; the solution is ultimately to treat the individual like a human. Be a human, and be tact"