Bringing People Together One Movie at a Time

Movies. We know ‘em, we love ‘em, and they play a pretty big role in our culture. From the frequent quoting and referencing of them in day-to-day conversation, to the reliance on them as a fall-back rainy day or night-out activity, movies help fuel social relationships both directly and indirectly.

But here’s the strange thing: when you think about it, the act of watching a movie seems pretty unsocial, even if you’re watching with someone else. You’re probably sitting in a dark room (whether at home or in a theater) barely talking to, or looking at, each other. Your attention is spent getting to know the lives of the characters on the screen instead of the life of the person sitting right next to you. And yet, watching a movie has been a popular social activity for decades. It’s a classic slumber party, family night, or first date activity. Why is this?

The most obvious reason for this is that even though the movie might be holding most of the attention, it’s still a positive experience you’re sharing with another person (or group of people). Depending on who you’re with, sometimes, the movie is background noise during a conversation. Sometimes, the movie is being attended to, but with frequent commentary or insight being shared by the watchers. Or, if you’re like me, you’ll ask everyone to be quiet so you can hear all of the dialogue. But even for (mostly) silent watchers like myself, movies are a great way to spend time with family or friends. It’s fun, it’s entertaining, and it’s a bonding experience. The happiness you feel watching the movie can translate to happiness you now associate with that person(s). And it’s low stress. You don’t have to worry about coming up with things to say, or awkward pauses while talking. The pressures of conversation and relationship-building fade, and you can just relax and enjoy yourself in a comfortable setting. And afterwards, you have something to talk about on the drive home or while you go and get dessert. Or even weeks from then when you crack a joke that calls back to the movie. Depending on the topic of the movie, it could even spark an important conversation on a topic you might not otherwise feel comfortable talking about. It’s a great, easy way to strengthen your relationship with another person whether that be an acquaintance, a friend, a family member, or a potential significant other. 

One of the most prominent examples of this for me, personally, was back in 2019, when Avengers: Endgame was released in theaters. It was a BIG DEAL. It was the culmination of 11 years and 21 movies of one of the most popular film franchises in the world, and the hype was REAL. At the time, I personally didn’t really care about the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). I thought superhero movies were generally boring (with a few exceptions). But, I knew it would be a long time before a cultural phenomenon like this happened again, so I didn’t want to miss it. And the big screen and loud speakers of a movie theater make watching a movie feel more epic. Therefore, I HAD to see Avengers: Endgame while it was still in theaters. And I wanted to understand it to get the full experience. My family and I spent weeks getting caught up on every single MCU movie. And eventually, we went to go see Avengers: Endgame at our local movie theater. Not only that, but by the time we were ready to go see it, Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) had already been released. And, big MCU fans that we all now were, we saw both movies back to back in one night. It was very late by the time we got home, but I remember that night positively as a bonding experience with my family. Not only that, but we still like to keep up with the MCU, even the shows. Our family bonding time continues every time we share our love for the MCU by sitting down together to watch a new episode, or when we go to the movie theater to see the newest movie, or even in brief moments when we use MCU quotes in conversation. In big and little ways, our love for the MCU has brought us closer. 

Movies also played a big role in bringing me and my roommate together. We met sophomore year as random roommates. Our first week of the semester we watched The Parent Trap (1998). From then on, movie nights became a well established tradition. We would fire up my Disney+ or her Prime Video account and have movie nights very frequently throughout the semester (often it was a TV show, but we still called it a movie night regardless). The tradition grew and got fancier, especially when we added the snack table. I got to introduce her to shows and movies I liked, and she got to introduce me to shows and movies she liked. This helped us to get to know each other better through the sharing of our interests. And helped us bond by creating positive memories of fun times together. Now, a year and a half later, we’re still roommates and still have “movie” nights. I think our friendship would be very different today if we had never established this tradition.

I think movies work so well for me in particular as a social activity for multiple reasons. One- I love movies. I love storytelling, fictional narratives, and visual media. I like analyzing movies for craft elements/technique and emotional effect. Two- I have an introverted disposition. And, as I was saying earlier, movies are a low pressure way to spend time with, and get closer to, someone. The above stories are just a few examples of how watching movies has helped me bond with other people. So, next time you don’t know what to do with friends, or are tired but still want to be social, consider turning on the TV, gathering some snacks, and watching a movie!

Olivia Wayson