Therapy: Let's Unpack That

by Clara Kelly

Everyone has a different way of dealing with the troubles of life. Some keep a

personal journal, others go out to avoid thinking about it, but a lot of people have turned to

psychotherapy. The National Institute of Mental Health offers a definition as this:

“Psychotherapy (also called talk therapy) refers to a variety of treatments that aim to help a

person identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.” In my experience,

therapy is a chance to hear an objective opinion about issues that may be confusing to

handle on my own. It’s a crucial outlet for raw, difficult emotions without the worry of

things landing the wrong way or feeling judged. This view is also held up by science! Let’s

discuss the different benefits of psychotherapy.

It provides a sense of stability.

Aside from the content discussed, simply having a regularly scheduled meeting on the

books can provide relief amidst the craziness and unpredictability of life. Within the

framework of weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly appointments, you can look forward to at least

one day where they know exactly what will happen and feel a specific type of security that

may not be available elsewhere. Described by Hackensack Meridian Health, there are many

benefits to having a stable routine such as the creation of structure and a sense of

accomplishment.

Each day in the real world can bring any slew of unforeseen circumstances. You may

pass an accident on the way to work, an assignment could’ve been forgotten about the day

prior, or you may learn of a loved one going through a hard time. Having structure acts as a

comfort in that no matter what is going on outside of those four walls, that hour-or-so-long

block will be reserved for chatting, venting, or whatever other method works best for you. Simply attending can also be seen as an accomplishment. When mental health takes a

nosedive, taking action of any form can become difficult. Getting dressed, driving to the

office, and being awake enough to talk are all tasks that can be checked off when attending a session. That little boost of, “Wow, I got these tasks done today” can be really impactful when those small acts seem big.

I often get overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of daily life, but knowing that every

Thursday I can just unwind and reflect on the past week makes the hard times a little easier.

The quip of, “My therapist will be hearing about this one” runs through my head almost

daily because I created a stable routine that I can rely on and control. It works because it

serves as a light at the end of the tunnel, which can be so valuable.

It can improve self-awareness.

Having a level of self-awareness is an important skill that can take time to develop.

Some people have it inherently, and other people need to experience some things in order to acknowledge the more hidden parts of themselves. To me, self-awareness is about examining the depths of your brain, flaws and all, and using that knowledge to observe the influence your innate mental processes might have on your behaviors. Therapy can help with this because instead of doing it all on your own, your therapist can ask guided questions that will lead you to think about the reasoning behind different actions and thoughts.

Humber River Health goes a step further with the effects of this practice, saying that,

“With awareness of self, you can regulate your interior condition, which has a ripple effect

through your behavior and actions. [...] When done consistently you are better able to

regulate your emotions and responses.” Being able to control your mind in this way creates

healthier relationships with others and also with yourself. Once you know that you respond

in a certain way (routinely negatively, positively, overdramatically, etc.) to specific situations,

it can take some of the guilt out of adverse reactions and allow you to approach it in a more

thoughtful manner. You also may be able to change some of these patterns over time.

For myself, I am aware that I am not comfortable with conflict and avoid it as much

as possible. I’ve seen this play out in countless relationships with friends, partners, and family

members. I also know that avoiding issues altogether is not going to do anything to solve

them, so when I catch myself falling into that pattern I am not better able to act against it

and push through with dealing with it. I may have come to that realization eventually on my

own, but having my therapist point that out from experiences I’ve described was much

quicker.

It helps in developing coping strategies and problem solving skills.

When bad times can’t be avoided, it can be fruitful to develop strategies to work

through the problems. Therapists are trained on effective techniques to provide aid in this

area, as well as coming up with solutions to problems when you can’t see them yourself.

Personal feelings can get in the way of clear judgment, so having an outside opinion can

make a world of difference in remedying situations.

Detailed by Cleveland Clinic, a few of these coping strategies include creating space

between you and the source of the stress, attempting to rethink beliefs that no longer suit

your needs, and maintaining supportive relationships. A few that have been shared with me

for more pressing anxieties would be taking time to breathe deeply, playing music that can

distract me, and even putting something cold on the back of my neck.

Aside from dealing with the aftermath of conflicts or stress, therapy can also provide

useful tools for preventing these issues in the future. Setting boundaries and establishing

guidelines for healthy conflict actively work to ensure that all parties involved are

comfortable and that the relationship can be sustained. Sometimes getting a second opinion is all that’s needed to see things in a better light.

It creates a safe space.

Above all, therapy provides a safe, positive place to land. Every therapist is different,

but at the end of the day, they are there to support you. Some may give tough love and offer

constructive feedback on choices made, and others may recognize that all you need is a pep

talk. Either way, regularly attending sessions can be a huge self-esteem boost that serves as a reminder that your thoughts and feelings are valid and that someone will listen to you when you feel like nobody else will. When confidence builds up, each day gets a little easier.

Sessions don’t have to be limited to just talking, either. Lots of offices have materials

for crafts, games, and other activities that connect you to the childlike part of you (that most

everyone has!) that often gets ignored for the sake of working or taking care of

responsibilities. I’ve played card games several times with my therapist just because nothing

much happened that week and I wanted to take a break from thinking about anything

serious. I truly believe that anything that brings you joy and peace can be a form of therapy.

Overall, I think that anyone could find value in trying out therapy. There may be

stigmas around around it, but pushing those aside to take time for your mental health is extremely beneficial in the long run as found by countless studies. Even if traditional psychotherapy isn’t what suits you best, engaging with mindfulness techniques and allowing yourself to take a breather can bring a real sense of balance and satisfaction to your life. It’s important to find a method that works right for you! When your own brain is in a stable place and you’re happy with yourself as a human, that peace radiates out and makes a real impact on everyone around you. Creating a better world seems like a much less daunting task when each person does their part to improve not only themselves, but their relationships with others. Moral of the story, I love therapy and I think you might, too.