How "Role Model's" album, Kansas Anymore, changed the trajectory of the aftermath of my breakup.
I.
It was September 28th, and I had just spent a lonely Saturday in my dorm, crying, journaling, and falling down a rabbit hole of “Role Model” interview YouTube videos. At this point, it had been about two months since the artist—whose real name is Tucker—released his sophomore album and about two weeks after my breakup had been finalized. I had listened to the singles “Look at that Woman” and “Oh, Gemini,” but never his entire album top to bottom.
I watched interview after interview, finding familiar pieces of my recent experiences and feelings in Tucker’s words. My roommate came home, and I went on an excited tangent on all the new information I had uncovered about the artist we mutually celebrity crushed on. In the weeks following this experience, I listened to Kansas Anymore every day, even dabbling in music Tucker said he personally enjoyed, like Kacey Musgraves’ music—which has similar themes of heartbreak.
Kansas Anymore can be described as an exploration of love, loss, and homesickness. Prominent interviewers like Rob Lowe and Zach Sang describe the album as reflective and painfully self-aware. That’s one of the things I love so much about it. Role Model’s vulnerability and self-awareness inadvertently encourage listeners to do the same soul-searching for themselves.
An American music blog calls their review of the album “The Bittersweet Catharsis of Kansas Anymore.” The familiar thread of self-awareness is brought up on what Ones to Watch calls the standout track: “Scumbag.” “Role Model finds himself in disbelief that his lover—and as the music video reveals, his best friends—stand by him despite his faults and setbacks.” It’s a sentiment I could recognize: despite feeling responsible for ruining something good, my loved ones and even my ex still continued to stand by me, forgive me, and give me second chances. The article also says, “In his sophomore effort, he pens a love letter to himself, and, in turn, demonstrates his ability to create a beautiful, uplifting piece of art from a place of melancholy.” I found myself deeply inspired to transform my sadness into art, viewing my daily life with newfound gratitude and creativity. This shift in perspective ultimately shaped my personal writing, making it more reflective and meaningful. Kansas Anymore encouraged me to look inwards, at myself, rather than outwards, during the breakup.
II.
"Writing's on the Wall"
Let me start by relating to the obvious: I’m nineteen! Before I had even listened to this song for the first time, my best friend had sat on my bed and told me that my ex and I would never work together. That we were like two puzzle pieces that didn’t fit together trying to interlock. I watched through tear-filled eyes as she pretended each of her hands was a puzzle piece and dramatically attempted to fit them together with no success to emphasize her point.
I always thought of that conversation when I listened to "Writing's on the Wall." The lyrics describe a moment in Tucker’s life when he was trying to force something that just wasn't meant to fit. The song itself paints a picture of well-intentioned advice, the kind that comes from people who have lived through similar experiences but that the receiver isn’t always ready to accept. There’s something both frustrating and comforting about the wisdom of those who have been there before. It’s a grounding reminder that loved ones often want to give their two senses about romantic relationships, even if they’re not always a hundred percent accurate. Even when their advice is resisted, a small part might wonder if they are right.
"Slipfast"
The sentiment conveyed in this song is something that is applicable in many contexts: sometimes, it feels easier just to walk away from a problem than deal with it. That’s how it felt for me when I broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t know how to deal with the negative emotions I was experiencing and the problems we were having, so I just jumped ship. Initially, it felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. There was relief in letting everything burn down instead of struggling to fix it. But that relief was short-lived. As time passed, I realized I couldn’t swim very well. I saw the flaws in my choice and regretted my decision.
To me, “Slipfast” is a song that captures this reckless abandon before a breakup. The way one can convince themselves that escape is the answer, even if they haven’t fully processed what they’re running from. It’s that dangerous thrill of destruction, the false sense of control that comes with making a drastic decision. Slipping fast might feel good in the short term, but it isn’t sustainable. When the dust settles, it's easy to wonder if destruction was mistaken for freedom.
"Compromise"
Tucker’s self-awareness and expression of unconditional love are best showcased through this song and its lyrics, making them stand out as some of the album’s strongest. He wishes his ex the best and doesn't want her to compromise her happiness, even if that means they can’t be together. This is a feeling that is all too familiar to me.
A significant reason for my breakup was my belief that my boyfriend was unhappy with me—like I was falling short, unable to meet his needs. It felt like he could fulfill my wants and wishes so effortlessly, yet somehow, I struggled to do the same for him. I felt like breaking up with him was actually doing him a favor and was the kindest thing to do for both of us. "Compromise" perfectly encapsulates that bittersweet feeling—the desire to see someone thrive, even if it means watching from a distance.
III.
The discovery and listening of Role Model's Kansas Anymore provided me with the unique opportunity to see my experiences and feelings regarding my breakup directly reflected back to me. It became a looking glass into my emotions, mistakes, and places I needed to grow. I found meaning in the breakup; it showed me opportunities for personal growth and made me realize that heartbreak isn't just about loss but also transformation. Kansas Anymore didn’t just keep me company in the lonely months following my split; it helped me navigate it and fuel my reflection into a creative outlet—writing.
You really did a great job with this post! I enjoyed the personal aspect of it, I felt like I could tell what you were going through, everything was communicated so well. The incorporation of the lyrics helped me understand what you were talking about which was super nice.
I appreciate your vulnerability in this post. It takes a lot of courage to write about such a difficult moment in your life, but your ability to persevere is very admirable. I've never heard of Role Model before, but after reading this post and hearing your story about them, I will have to check them out.
It is often hard to write about tough experiences, but you did an amazing job with this. I love the way you connected each song to your own personal feelings and experience. I also really like the takeaway at the end. Everyone goes through hard times, but they can also provide us opportunities to grow.
I could feel you and your experience as I was reading this. I also recently went through a rough breakup over winter break before we came back. I had the same conclusions as well; he was everything to me, but I wasn't everything to him, so I called it off. The paragraph about jumping ship just to realize you couldn't swim very well hit me hard when I read it. I realized how little stability I carried on my own without him in my life. Immediately after finishing this, I downloaded the album into my library, and I hope to see transformation through it as you did.
I think these connections with music are really, really important and I'm glad you found these songs to lean on in a tough time. It's hard to grapple with big emotions in high-stress situations like breakups, and it definitely helps to know that others have had the same experience. Realizing the value of transformation and using that in your writing is admirable.